About Andi
Jun 30th, 2008 by Andi
I am BARELY in my forties, but I feel like I’m in my twenties. I also act like that. I am stubborn and refuse to be trendy. I am cool (in a “screw-you-I’ll-do-what-I-want” kind of way) but I will never be hip. I am anti-hip. I was raised LDS in Ohio and although I was still somewhat less-holy than I should have been, I didn’t think there was anything particularly bad about being LDS. And then I moved to Utah. I have since decided that although I still believe the basic theology of the church and hold true to many of the principles that I was raised with, I cannot bring myself to go to church on Sundays. Mainly because Utah Mormons are insane, and I, of course, am in control of my mental faculties. This may have to do with my anti-trendy, anti-go-along-with-the-crowd ideals, but I have nothing in common with these people. I also think it’s disgusting to act saccharine-sweet when you run into someone you barely know in the grocery store. Please do not insult me by acting like your life has been incomplete because you haven’t seen me in two weeks. You know my phone number, you know where I live. If I was so important to you, you wouldn’t rely on chance encounters to see me. Don’t patronize me.
I am a single Mom to a precocious, adorable, funny and tender eight-year-old girl named Lauren. She also answers to Lulu, Lou, Peanut Butter and Kid. I’m not sure if she knows what her given name is. She is academically smarter than I am, and because she’s an only child, far more mature than her age would imply. She thinks I am funny (especially when I mimic The Jonas Brothers) and she thinks I am beautiful, even though I clearly am not.
I have two dogs, Baxter and Sam, both rescued (note my halo) from the pound. One licks too much, the other barks too much. One is patient and long-suffering, the other is a schizophrenic bundle of energy. One must be medicated in order to endure thunderstorms and fireworks, the other pees on my carpet just to spite me. I love them both.
I have two guinea pigs, Brownie and Panda, who were a gift to Lauren on her last birthday. She adores them and gives them plenty of attention until it comes time to clean the cage, and then she gags dramatically and runs from the room. So they are still pretty much Mom’s responsibility. Ah, the things we do for our kids.
I am a Registered Nurse and I take care of little bald kids at a nondescript pediatric hospital somewhere in the vicinity of my home. I love my job and wish to keep it, therefore I will not talk about it for fear of violating the HIPPA laws. But OH the stories I could tell you!!!
My ass is bigger than I would like, but I’m working on it. I go to the gym even though I don’t want to, and when I leave, I am happy that I went. But I don’t enjoy it while I’m there. At all. I also eat healthier than I used to, but still fantasize obsessively about ice cold Pepsi. Sue me. I also love to cook and I love to eat. It’s a dangerous combination for a pudgy girl.
I am not from Utah. I do not speak Utahrd. I do not believe that I will go to hell for dining out or shopping on Sundays. I will not act like I like you if I don’t. I don’t care what religion you are, what you drink, what you wear, or whether or not you swear. It’s a novel concept, I know. Deal with it. And if you agree, come join our Heathen Bunco Group. We have more fun than Utah housewives/mothers should have.
I am in love with my life right now. I laugh every day. I cry nearly as often, but never out of despair. I am lucky to have love, security, friendship and happiness in my life, and I know how blessed I am.
Feel free to drop me a line: andij1967 (at) msn (dot) com
< ![CDATA[Hello Andi! I loved reading your blog and will look forward to more entries often! You cracked me up! Thanks for putting a smile on my face. I love your take on life - a lot of people can learn from you in that aspect! Keep bloggin and I'll keep reading!
Chunkymonky : )]]>
< ![CDATA[Wow we were seperated at birth, So glad I have found your blog. I now know that I am not alone in this world and in reality it is the rest of the World that is insane - I am perfectly logical!!!
I just laugh out loud with some of your articles.
Go girl.]]>
< ![CDATA[Andi..
I am so glad that I learned about your blog. I will visit often. I love working with you..you are an amazing nurse! I look forward to your stories and adventures.]]>
< ![CDATA[What an awesome "About" page -- I love you already!]]>
< ![CDATA[Thank you for your kind words over in my world. It's nice for my views to be validated by someone else. I am thoroughly enjoying getting to know you via your blog.]]>
< ![CDATA[Andi,
You make me laugh and you make me cry through out our days in our "pod", and with all of that I have come to know what a kind, interesting, and all around spectacular person you are. Lauren cracks my pants and I love hearing stories about her new adventures. Thank you for introducing me to your blog. I love it and enjoy it. Remember, keep the vision!]]>
< ![CDATA[Okay Andi I am so glad I discovered your blog. You are hilarious!!! Whatever is all I have to say to some of the things you said about yourself like that you are not beautiful for one. You are wonderful and unfortunately I am one that lives what two doors down and am terrible since having kids with keeping in touch unless it is over the computer:( Have a fab time in Canada!!!]]>
< ![CDATA[Hola Chicka! Another kindred spirit and I don't mean that in the lala sissy Mormon way! Nice blog and have a lovely holiday trip! Roxy]]>
< ![CDATA[Love it. Simply love it. Enough said.]]>
< ![CDATA[Scary, we are very alike. It could have something to do with the water of Ohio.
And I also spent time in pUrgtah.
-the Jensen kid who was younger than the big ones, but not the littlest.]]>
< ![CDATA[You're funny! I live in Utah [Alpine...shhhh, I don't share where I live on my blog] and found your site via The Women's Colony. I don't speak Utahrd either. ;-)]]>
Andi–I followed you over from the Colony and your comment on the divorce post. My sister (who passed away last year) had Borderline Personality Disorder. Since nobody who hasn’t really dealt with someone with that mental illness can possibly get it, I thought I’d say “hi” to a fellow survivor. Though I know for a fact that being married to one is even rougher than having one for a sister. Good luck to you.
I am so happy to have found your blog – another SANE woman not just surviving but thriving here amongst the Utahrds! You’ve definitely nailed the culture, and I am looking forward to reading more of your adventures.